On the minus side, after my Dad cussed me out (“YOU DAMNED CHEATER!” he screamed at me, and that’s just what I can print), he used the trick and went on to destroy me. 12K Club, First “talking” pinball. Judge Dredd isn’t that hard a table, and it provides tons of chances at free balls. Oscar’s Rating: Great (#32) Oscar’s Rating: Great (#9) Permanently Delisted Black Knight 2000 is loud and fast and it doesn’t give you a second to breathe. Probably a good thing. Dad and I played a best-of-three series with ten balls, each of us earning about 4 or so extra balls during the series, and all but ONE non-multiball was lost to the right outlane. The problem is those damned “patented solid state flippers” it wears. No Fear feels like a spiritual sequel to Black Knight 2000, but man, does it not live up to it. 1993 Williams, 7,008 Units Sold 11. EDIT: Yes, and the ability to control the ball with the right analog stick, IE cheat. - GeorgeH and Gimli for support of BAM functions Future Pinball is a simple install that can be downloaded from the official website. Ripley’s Believe it or Not! Angela’s Rating: Bad Go figure the Pinball Arcade version would have one of the more accurate-feeling tables in the entire library. The Addams Family Theatre of Magic has under 300, while Terminator 2’s has just a little over 300. Tom Kopera had never led the design of a table up to this point, and since Cactus Canyon, has only one other time directed a table (2011’s Rolling Stones pin by Stern). This is also the first FP table to use the new PinEvent standard with support for DOF, MX Leds, PuP-Pack, SSF, PUPDMD nd PUP Stream. Because Twilight Zone didn’t survive the ride home with Pinball Arcade. REST OF THE TEAM The drop in quality between Stern Pack 2 and Gottlieb Table Pack 3 is huge. 1974 Gottlieb, 2,900 Units Sold All I ask is that you get it from the source where I have posted it. The hell? I’m not naive. Wild Card, being the last EM from Williams.. plus being over forty-years-old.. can’t help but feel like a relic. Please do not use the name PinEvent in reference to any other table or code, or in relation to adding DOF or PUP to a FP table. Too bad, because Victory has decent targets and excellent scoring balance.   What a crappy way to end the 70+ year legacy of the biggest giant in pinball. How could I not? You can understand why someone reared on electro-mechanicals or early solid-state machines like Firepower or Gorgar or Genie would be turned off by Funhouse. Jordi: Centigrade 37 (#13).   While I can’t imagine any time period where Pin•Bot would be considered revolutionary, because it’s a bit on the blandish side, I’ll fully admit that there’s still fun to be had here. These “checkpoints” are absurdly easy to access, which results in the game stopping and going like you’re playing Red Light, Green Light in pinball form. Big Shot is just too damn hard to enjoy. It uses Advanced Physics to provide the best possible Simulation of a true to life pinball machine. The game started keeping track of Doctor Who: Master of Time as the original Doctor Who, despite all that game’s targets now being different things. While the clown near the drain is nightmare fuel, the Comet and Cyclone shots are fun and memorable, the Ferris Wheel toy is cute, and really this is just a solid, unoffensive table. REST OF THE TEAM Yep, that’s pretty accurate. Steve and Dennis agree that the whitewood (industry slang for prototype) was, more or less, the table that was released, with only some of the angles clearned up. 1988 Williams, 7,300 Units Sold So the story has a happy ending of sorts. All I know is, I can play both tables for hours and not feel like one is redundant over the other. Clocking it, getting a feel for what shots work and when to attempt them, takes time and patience. Taxi is still fun, but in a guilty pleasure sort of way. And yeah, that’s what Central Park will ultimately come down to. Eala’s Rating: Bad. The really potentially interesting idea is that you can then do a double-or-nothing with your prize from each casino game if you can convert a hurry-up left orbit shot. Art by Dan Hughes, Tim Elliott, and Andy G. Reynolds Either way, this feature is completely gone. REST OF THE TEAM Or, if it’s truly there in the original table, didn’t need to be there, as Zen Studios proves. - @Fuzzel for allowing the use of his excellent Vader Tie Fighter, X-Wing, and Turbo Laser models. Real-life Whirlwind owners commonly accept that their tables will never fully work at 100% capacity without heavy modifications that can alter the angles and geometry of the table. It doesn’t play totally arcade perfect, and in fact there’s a noticeable slowness when the ball is in an open field, though weirdly the timing feels the same and my muscle-memory for the table kicked in and worked. It’s not as punishing. Oscar’s Rating: Bad (#85) But, it’s not the only problem. The Pinball Adventures of Indie Gamer Chick, Featured in Stern Table Pack 3 (PS4/Xbox One only). - PUPDMD But seriously, Banzai Run is a safe, solid, fast running table that anyone can enjoy. Mind you, you only need 8,000,000 for an extra ball. Permanently Delisted That they turned one of the most colorful, lively tables into a dark, bleak, unhappy experience hammers home how far they missed the mark. - added new adjustable BAM lighting for GI ("detached" nano flashers) You could “cash out” your replays earned. I did only about twelve play-throughs with Sorcerer (and a few more since then). But there really isn’t. -The backglass took inspiration from an article in the popular publication The New Yorker. The circle is now COMPLETE! I have been hitting my shots, but I only have one ball left. I admit, I rolled my eyes a bit at that. Oh no, those days were done for. But even the best shot is made overly simplistic and dull by the scoring system. Which isn’t to say it’s stable or anything. Hell, you can easily lose control on the seemingly normal Escape Route orbit and feed the drain. Any digital pinball. Here’s a hypothetical question for everyone: would Safe Cracker had been good without the board game? Never mind that she was getting credit for jumps she didn’t complete. The U-S-A multiplier roll-overs are some of the best placed in pinball history. Designed by Greg Kmiec This is the “home run” hole that drives the scoring and would be an excellent feature if they’d truly left it at that. Between this and Taxi, I think there can be no doubt that Mark Ritchie is every bit as imaginative as his brother. All ratings are in my order, because, you know, my site, my idea. There are 15 drop targets to shoot and one capture ball that can recover lost balls. The shots are challenging. Victory isn’t. It gives the whole thing this weird prototype feel. But, I’ll comment here: I don’t like the dot matrix slot machine and I can’t stand the art direction of High Roller Casino at all. The clipping was consistent enough that I can declare Gofers unplayable, since the balls, you know, staying on the playfield and not passing right through the sides is something that shouldn’t happen. The left and right side (especially the left side) rolling channels spoon-feed the outlanes, and nudging is less effective because of how they’re oriented at an angle. What can I say? - ravarcade for the many updates to BAM that allowed this to be possible So, sorry fans, I don’t get Sorcerer. Excellent scoring balance and satisfying bonus building make this a truly lost treasure. What would YOU say a Dalek sounds like? Fireball -NOT based on Mars Attacks, the film that came out after the table, nor the Topps trading cards. Catherine has just crossed over into.. the Digital Zone. A crowded playfield where clanked shots are likely to drain out, you need to quick reflexes and precision to excel. REST OF THE TEAM - it has simplified info for proper setup for DOF and Pinup Player features One more hypothetical, and this one is for you homebrew types: how good would Safecracker had been with a standard-sized table? Final table by legendary designer Ed Krynski, last pinball machine produced by Mylstar. Really, Pin•Bot, with its seemingly random planetary theme, I believe must have started life as a sequel to Oursler’s Space Shuttle table. The angles are high-risk and even successful shots can lead directly to insta-draining. In Pinball FX3’s Williams buyer’s guide, I’ve done two of his tables as of this writing. Featured in Stern Pinball Arcade Add-On Pack 1 (DLC/Physical) It’s not even close. Production of it was shut down before the game was completed. And that’s the problem with Harley: all it does is that four-ball over and over again. Designed by Pat Lawlor It wasn’t arbitrarily cancelled, people. To all my fans and followers on Twitter who didn’t unfollow me when my feed suddenly had thousands of pinball clips instead of indie game clips, thank you. Besides, you know, PCP gopher boy here. Too gimmicky. I just wish it did more. If this had modern-style balanced-scoring, this would be a great table, maybe even a masterpiece. 6K Club, largest solid-state table produced by Gottlieb. REST OF THE TEAM I’m going to guess that’s how it went down. It was THE table everyone wanted. Jordi’s Rating: Good if the glitch is ignored. Apparently they forgot that the game has a championship just for its legendary six ball-multiball (one of the easiest-to-get six balls in the entire medium) and, after entering initials for it, the game just refuses to acknowledge you pressing the button to enter your high score initials, forcing you to “quit the game” and return to the table menu or just waiting for the extremely slow and invisible countdown timer to expire. That hurts my heart. Having said that, yeah, Williams pushed their chips all-in on Space Shuttle. It didn’t quite translate as well to Pinball Arcade as it should have. Dot Matrix Display by Mark Galvez & Tom Kyzivat I mean, it clearly is Black Knight 2(000). Because this is a crap game.   INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS and MORE INFO: I mean, compared to some of the other more inspired tables of the era, like Centaur or especially Black Knight, I can’t believe THIS is the 5th best selling pinball table ever. High Speed is a legend. Oh, it was on me for sure. The catch is the furthest right rail will inevitably go down the outlane. It’s weird how only a few of the tables look photo-realistic. Also, I figure I should note that, while this is VERY close to the real table (one of the closest in Pinball Arcade, in fact), the skill shot is nearly impossible because of the lack of a plunger, and in fact, the only standard goal we didn’t earn for 2 of the three versions of Cyclone we have. NOT AVAILABLE FOR NINTENDO SWITCH Perhaps he’s right. Good call. Addams Family Gold, which was available only to Kickstarter backers, is the only stand-alone release not covered here. Literally, that’s probably what it costs to license Thomas today, though I’m sure it was a very pretty penny. - NEW Time Attack Mode! Oscar’s Rating: Bad (#86) It’s so dumb. Share your account at your own risk. Are you kidding? What a miscarriage of justice it is that Centaur didn’t do better in arcades. In fact, I got a ball jammed in bumpers, scoring points without being able to move. - added new adjustable BAM lighting for playfield inserts Stern Table Pack 1, which previously contained both AC/DC and Flight 2000, now contains ONLY Ripley’s Believe it or Not!, Star Trek, and Starship Troopers. I do like fast-running tables, but I have my limits. Jordi’s Rating: Good (#46). The playfield is wide-open with only a single row of drop targets on the right side occupying the center, and they’re angled to prevent the ball from returning off a shot. I will say, of all the EM tables, this one seems like it should be the most “fair” or most “modern”. FunHouse is fun. It hurts a lot of Pinball Arcade tables, but it really hurts Cyclone. At a time with tables started having high failure rates and required frequent maintenance, it had a reputation for not breaking down. You’ll realize this about one second after beginning your first game. Why is it not okay when Cactus Jack’s spams the center of the table with lights but perfectly fine when Black Knight 2000 does it? I’m pretty sure I just got disinherited. REST OF THE TEAM But it’s either spend close to $10K on a table I hate or a couple bucks for a fake, inaccurate version of a table I hate. It’s a memorable, thrilling sequence. If you’re on Stern Pinball Arcade, you can pay an extra $9.99 to buy a limited edition of the table that changes the center car toy and other art work, but really, you’re playing more or less the same table. One of the strangest multiball locks, though it’s visually satisfying when you connect on shots. Twilight Zone is fun but insanely difficult. The first Williams alpha-numeric game. If you’re introducing someone new to the game, this is THE table to educate them on ball management with. What a crying shame that the physics fail Pistol Poker. The only standard goal on any table I had a tougher time getting was hitting the top-valued skill shots on tables like Cyclone, which you can blame on the plunger system. Virtual Reality: for those of you lucky enough to be able to play FP-BAM in VR properly (nice and smooth, etc)... you will be blown away at what you will see in VR! If the single-player action was half as good as the dueling was, this might have been a top ten table. The problem is there’s just not a lot to this table. Of course, it tends to cause balls to drain out unless you risk getting a tilt warning. There’s a lot more flexibility and open room, which makes multiball feel more chaotic. Beyond just being the greatest seller and most famous solid-state table, Addams Family introduced the optical target bank to pinball, which has since become standard in design. Think about it: just three months after this, the groundbreaking Terminator 2: Judgment Day pinball machine was released by Williams. Klicken Sie in dem Fenster auf "Reset fpRAM file to Defaults". He turned three different shades of purple from me stealing his multiball locks. Eala’s Rating: Great. - full Star Wars soundtrack that changes to gameplay events to give it that blockbuster feel This flipper reminds me of those douchebags who outfit body-kits to their already nice cars, ruining them and looking like dorks in the process. CERTIFICATIONS: The Pinball Chick team of myself, my father (Oscar), and Jordi all put significant time into each table before deciding our ratings, and then double-check and triple-check our notes to be extra sure. The issue is the discs seemed to have an uncanny knack of redirecting the ball from almost any angle into uncomfortable positions. Yes, you’ll still need luck to be on your side to succeed. is not the sequel to Twilight Zone, but it sort of is. Black Hole is one of the most famous tables of its era. I think it has too many inherit flaws. Much like how Addams Family and Twilight Zone triggered an arms-race for gothic-horror tables (leading to competitive tables like Tales from the Crypt, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, etc), High Speed had everyone else scrambling to do their own lightning-fast, combo-heavy table. Mind you, as this left the factory, the team at Williams firmly believed this would be remembered as the greatest pinball machine of the 1980s. Jordi’s Rating: Good (#73). Xenon is a pinball table where you make a robot lady moan and orgasm as you smack her bumpers with your balls while trying to fill her tube. The first pinball ever where the jackpot is tied exclusively to multiball. High Speed is fast and white knuckle, but smart and elegant too. It’s just very underwhelming. Doing so will ensure it will always work as intended with any updates to PinEvent or the tables / pup-packs I create (which are often)... as well as any changes I have made to ensure compatibility with new updates / features from BAM. My Dad, who has more experience playing EMs than I have playing pinball, says it feels “close enough”, though I swear I can’t get over the weird glidey, uncanny valleyness of the movement physics. We put a LOT of time trying to get to the bottom of why this table fails on so many levels. I enjoy it just fine. Dot Matrix Display by Scott Slomiany Sorry. Yep, that’s Ronald & Nancy Reagan. Although the lineup has fewer delisted exclusives, Season Two is a legitimate powerhouse of a set, featuring my top-ranked table and the highest team-ranked table (Terminator 2 was ranked #1 by Jordi & myself and #3 by Oscar), and Oscar’s highest rated delisted table can still be acquired (1980’s Firepower, rated #2 by him). It’s almost surreal that this ended up moving 4,000 units, more than this era of Gottlieb’s more successful fare like Tee’d Off or Wipe Out. We thought about removing them entirely from all future Pinball Chick reviews, but we were contacted by an anonymous contributor to one of Trudeau’s tables who wanted us to continue with the reviews, stating that tables are a collaborative effort. A lot of purists settle disputes over who is the superior player using this table. - it has simplified info for proper setup for DOF and Pinup Player features Having Steve Ritchie return to Star Trek was a big deal. First table to use Mylar images instead of silk-screened images. Mind you, I’d never played High Speed or Getaway, which Indy 500 is an unofficial sequel to (fans of those will find Indy 500’s layout very familiar). Honestly, you could download Pinball Arcade’s launcher and enjoy Frankenstein, Ripley’s, and Star Trek, never purchase another table, and still get a wonderful feel for the medium. Everything about this feels like a “let me show you how it’s done” type of deal. Bram Stoker’s Dracula Desktop users who only want to play the table (and NOT use any DOF or PUP features), just need to install the PinEvent files. I vaguely remember trying Black Hole and Tales of the Arabian Nights when they came out, not being impressed, and walking away. The Party Zone And then you get multiball, and you wonder if the table needed a multiball at all. Also, the Superball (a special ceramic ball) doesn’t feel.. right. They already have the Marvel license and could then adapt Stern’s Deadpool, which he also did the art for. It’s no secret.   It’s weird how they built this table. Mortal Kombat characters have been removed, even if you deactivate “Family Mode” in the Pro Menu. Besides that one specific target, every other objective is just kind of easier in Pinball Arcade’s take on this over-rated monstrosity. The Shelter shot, especially, is a lot trickier and more rewarding than any of the major hole shots in Funhouse. Wipe Out, released five months after Tee’d Off, is probably the last unambiguously good Gottlieb table. Before tinkering with the factory settings in pro-mode, we couldn’t win anything, to the point that the few victories we had felt accurate to the casino theme. Check. But, although 2014’s Star Trek claimed to be based on the 1993 Next Generation Superpin, it’s actually very much a modern-era Stern table that’s closer to No Fear than TNG. Want to know how sad the great Pinball Arcade delisting truly is? Mustang might be overly simple for some, and if you’re not a car person a lot of what the table offers might be lost on you. This should be awesome, even with flow as smooth as a backed-up toilet. A table older than me left me dazzled and excited and giddy to play more. So, I’ve been dancing around this subject, and it’s finally time to get it out of the way. THE PINBALL CHICK CERTIFIED EXCELLENT TABLE. It seems like Gottlieb could have saved $50 or whatever this license cost them, especially if they weren’t willing to spring for William Shatner. It’s like having a bully hold the ball above your head and having you jump at it. REST OF THE TEAM I’ve never played (or even seen with my own two eyes in-person) a real Banzai Run table, nor has my father, but it feels like the physics should be accurate. Dad could make it with his eyes closed. Of all the truly rotten tables, Frank Thomas is the one that had the most potential. It’s such a stupid easy layout that they probably had to make the rails spoon-feed the outlanes just to make it reasonably profitable. I guess it’s aesthetically fitting that Elvira: Mistress of the Dark’s outlanes rip apart more balls than the monsters in the b-movies she shows. REST OF THE TEAM REST OF THE TEAM TRIVIA Alterations: All Data East logos have been removed. However, these tables were not patched or maintained like other seasons and are apparently unstable. Designed by Mark Ritchie It almost feels like a Japanese fan-style table with multiple orbits to shoot and build combos. But, I want to love it and I can’t, because it’s just too damn cruel. Here, it’s a bit tougher to shoot orbits and the catapult is a bit harder to access. Free Driver Scan! It’s too big and too lethal from too many angles, at too many ball speeds. One of pinball’s greatest legends is that Safe Cracker spent at least some of its development cycle under the assumption that the final game would somewhat resemble the popular board game Monopoly. Make it look like a tacky game show. Cactus Jack’s is a wonderful table to point at if you need to explain why Gottlieb lost so much ground to Bally/Williams in the early 90s. So, just to leave any doubt, I decided to get a picture of it for Creature’s profile pick. It took us a while to figure out the word to use there, but practical is the word. Somehow, and I’m not exactly clear on how, but both Williams and Zaccaria ended up with this design. My Dad and I enjoyed Jack Opens’ simple targets. This is a table made to sucker fans of the IP. On Steam, while the logo is included on the pack, the set only includes the three tables mentioned above (plus Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, which you get for free anyway). The bat flipper leading to two different routes is hypothetically good, and I imagine on a real table it’s easier. It’s also worth noting that the replay system was used for gambling in some places. There’s too many whammies on the board to lead to a fail condition. Of the many, MANY problems in Jack•Bot, this kicker and the wide drain (with near-worthless drain post) was the fatal element that ended the Pin•Bot series for good. There’s few moments in the sport as satisfying as building up a run of loops in Black Knight 2000. But then, there’s the scoring balance. Pat Lawlor’s first work (co-designed by Larry DeMar) starts as a simple but elegant normal table. Doing so will ensure it will always work as intended with any updates to PinEvent or the tables / pup-packs I create (which are often)... as well as any changes I have made to ensure compatibility with new updates / features from BAM. Featured in Stern Table Pack 2 (DLC), Stern Pinball Arcade Add-On Pack 2 (DLC/Physical) I say making a really great home version of Attack from Mars would be tough too, yet here we are. I suppose it’s fitting that a table called Black Hole has issues with gravity. It’s what Pat Lawlor wanted. I DO NOT authorize anyone to distribute any of my PinEvent tables / mods / pup-packs or the PinEvent vbs files or code, or distribute any mod of such, for any reason on any site / group / share of any sort, unless I have given permission to do so. The theme is boring. You mean to tell me this table wasn’t hard enough without them? “Deliberate” is a kind way of putting it. Like Harley Davidson, it’s pinball made for non-pinheads. 2004 Stern, Unknown Sales (Likely under 1,000) Besides the magnetic stuff, Addams Family is a much more accurate representation of its real-life counterpart. Permanently Delisted How Vulcan of it. Wow, was the team all over the place with this one. 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